Stop and write about “try and connect with the world around you” if you wish. Or you could [[a mind to meander|go back to where the river begins]]. ---- > NOTE: Either I forgot to record who wrote this, or they said they wanted to remain anonymous. If it’s you and you *didn’t* want to remain anonymous, let me know and I’ll update this page with your name! I will absolutely not last in this state for very long. Reading the news is absolutely depressing, and watching it on TV is even worse, it just makes me wonder why [[our world can get so out of line]]. It sucks. I don't want to live in this crappy world. The things we have to put up with and things we have to do. I work now, and the amount of people who have to put things back on the shelves because they couldn’t afford it is so horrible. A case of water is 8 dollars now. How can you afford to stay alive and live? There’s this homeless guy in my area. There was that couple of weeks where it was freezing, and he was just sleeping in a tent? I complain about standing on my feet for 7 hours when there are people out there STRUGGLING! Count your blessings every day. When kids say “I had a horrible day!” They need to start thinking about the positive things in their lives and not just focus on the bad. Just because it’s a bad DAY, does NOT mean you have a bad LIFE. There is a difference. A couple of days ago some people came in and were a dollar short of what they owed and I just decided to help them out and gave them a dollar. They were grateful. I was glad I could help someone in their time of need. I get it we used to be really careful with our money too, well we still are. Now everyone has their own money and spends it the way they want. Then there was a girl whose chip was broken and the card wasn’t working. She has one thing. It was like 4 dollars, and I gave the cashier a 10 and I got the change back. After that happened there were people coming up to my left and right saying “Take this you are such a kind soul.” These types of compliments just make me so happy and make me feel something. People come up and try to give me a 20-dollar bill. I just refuse to take money from people. It’s just the way I was raised. Ever since I started working I get out in the real world. It’s scary, and it sucks. People are so mean to each other and I live by this saying: “Mean people are Ugly.” There were 3 baggers at work the other day and I was the only girl bagging, and the guys always stuck with going to get the carts. We were super busy yesterday and there were a whole bunch of carts out there because I never got a break. Then my manager called one guy up to go get carts while I was bagging groceries. Then he comes in and says, “You couldn’t have gotten them?” I said, “Well I’m a little busy right now. Plus I’ve been getting them the whole time I was here today.” I can’t stand the guys I work with. That’s what the world has come to, and I gotta move forward from it. Every time I’m working I’m ALWAYS the one getting the carts because the other guys are doing other stuff that they shouldn't be doing. My manager sees that I'm always getting the carts. I think about so many things in one day. Mostly, about work. Many people come in and just throw fits, and some don’t even have manners and just throw things at the baggers which is me. Sometimes it gets so out of hand that I can’t take it anymore and HAVE to go to the “bathroom,” when I really just go in there and ask myself what can I do differently to make people change. News flash YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE! It’s hard to process, I know it is. I think about all these grumpy people that come in and just take it out on the baggers. It’s bad but again not everyone has the best life out there. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have! Don’t put yourself down just because someone raised their voice at you. I got screamed at by a lady today and I didn’t take it very well. I have a sensitive heart and very sensitive skin, and when someone raises their voice or makes fun of me I take it to heart. That’s one horrible trait I have. I can’t just let things go, I never could, and still can’t. It’s a learning process for everything you go through. The things you go through have meaning, and when you make mistakes, own up and take responsibility. I’ve learned all these life lessons in such hard ways. I’m beyond proud of myself for being how strong I really am. I could try harder to grow closer to Christ. Ever since I started my job I’ve kind of started to depart from it. I can’t do that, and I can’t figure out why this is happening. I’ve been reading my bible, and just spending time with him as much as I can. When I have time, he is never busy for us, and it’s just eating me alive. Every night when I drive home I always talk to him the whole way home so I get there safely. Seeing as my headlights are a little messed up right now. Thinking and talking with him the whole way home is one of my nightly routines. I’m trying to get some of my coworkers to stop swearing and start getting rid of that horrible attitude and language. It’s hard to grow out of. I’ve had bad days where all I do is cuss, and it’s difficult NOT to, you just try harder than you already are. I’ve been slacking on cleaning up the house and keeping it nice. I’ve just been so busy with school and work that I don’t think of that and just try to make money, and get farther along in my school. Not many kids are as dedicated as me, and I’m beyond grateful that I’m the way I am. This has taken me years to love myself before I let someone else love me. I’m starting to be more confident in myself, and everyone should! [[a very bad nightmare|always afraid of that]]. But this week? I’ve been getting so much better at letting my phone just sit and not be on it, it’s so much more relaxing and makes me WANT to do work, and do school. I really don’t talk/text anyone. I only text work people to see if my schedule changed and see who I’m working with. I’m glad I'm not glued to my phone and that I can spend time with my family and NOT go on my phone. Glad I was raised the way I was. I’m glad that I was raised the way I was. [[I don’t want to be like the other kids]] in my generation. All they think about just makes me disgusted. My family likes to say that I'm never getting a boyfriend so how much time I spend in school. I just really care about education and don’t want to fall behind or fail. I’m a dedicated person and I NEVER want to lose that. Took me years to be proud of myself but here I am having a job, and actually being a good child, and doing things how they should be done. Not drinking, smoking, vaping, doing the naughty NOTHING! Sometimes I get picked on because of how much of a weirdo I am. I’m just religious and I believe in those things more than anything. Everyone should, not just me, EVERYONE. Again not everyone’s me, and you can’t change people. You grow from the mistakes and you just learn to let it all go.